About Me and My Loves

About Me and My Loves
Howdy Y'all and Welcome! I have been married to my studly hubby for almost 5 years now; who is an energetic, outgoing, handyman helicopter pilot. We recently made our first big move cross country from Utah to Texas with our now 20mo. old "Rae of Sunshine" Azure. We love experiencing anything and everything and holding nothing back. We love dreaming and creating things of all kinds together. I hope that this blog will help our families back home keep up with our busy life, and maybe inspire some along the way...from family to home, money to food, holidays, travel, photography and crafts. this... this is my life!.... Enjoy.

Wednesday, September 26, 2012

I miss you more and more each day







7 years... 7 long years since I have been able to hug my Dad. Since I have been able to talk to, laugh with, work alongside my Dad. 45 years old is way to short to be on this earth, 18 years old is way to young to start living without your Daddy.

Not an hour goes by in a day, that I don't think about him. I watch Azure playing, and I think how much she would make him laugh. I watch mine and Brett's marriage flourish and hope he would be proud of how much of an example he was to me as to what a husband and father and eternal marriage should be. I see teenagers with their dad's and hope that they respect and appreciate their dad's and all they do.

There has been a lot of things happen in the last 7 years of my life that I wish so badly he could have been there for. My wedding. The birth of Azure. Meeting and being friends with Brett. Going for a helicopter ride with Brett (which I know he would have LOVED), Helping fix and tinker on things when we bought our first house. The countless times I wished I could have called him up, gone to his work, or found him working on a tractor to ask his advice and seek counsel from him.

A few months before my dad died he taught a powerful lesson at youth conference about accepting and understanding the Lord's will. That talk hit me hard that day, it was something I had never really thought about in such a way, but I learned from it. The spirit testified to me that no matter what the Lord's plan was, that I could trust in him that he knew what was best for me. That if I let him lead and guide me, that I could make it through the tough times in life. I reflect back on that day often. I'm not sure if my Dad felt inspired to talk about that subject or not. But I believe that he was inspired; so that when the time came, I could find comfort in knowing that my Dad gave everything he had to the gospel. And that he had a testimony stronger than anyone I've ever known. That he understood the power of God's will, and that if he could accept it. I could too. No matter what. By realizing this and full heartedly relying on the Lord to pull me through, I have gained a deeper love and appreciation for my Savior and The Atonement.

I remember looking up to my dad from a very young age. I wanted to do everything he did. He not only taught me spiritually, but he taught me life long skills of hard work. He taught me how to use a shovel, and get an irrigation pipe started. He taught me how to plant, care for, grow and harvest the sweetest crops. He taught me how to drive (at age 10) various tractors, dump trucks and combines. How to change the oil on a vehicle. He taught me how to raise pigs and fix fence. He taught me how to fix and jimmy rig any household problem. He taught me how to back up a trailer and run the best produce stand in town. He taught me how to milk a cow and shoot a gun. He taught me to work until the job was complete, not until I was tired.

Some of my fondest memories with him were riding in the tractor with him while he leveled or planted a field. I would lay down on the back rest behind him and I would fall asleep to the vibrations of the tractor. I did this til I was 16!

I loved going to work with him at Utah State and coloring on his white board with his fruit flavored dry erase markers. I also loved going to school with him because that meant we got to go to lunch together. Just me and him. Those were the best, to have time to ourselves.

I loved pickin corn and watermelon early in the mornings. When I hadn't earn the "right" to pick yet, I would follow him down the corn rows and he would fill my arms as high as he could without me dropping them. He knew how to pick the sweetest watermelon and cantaloupe. It was always a party pickin watermelons. He would challenge us by throwing watermelons at us, trying to knock us over while trying to catch them. We would devour 10 or more watermelons in a morning.

So many fun and fond memories with him on the farm, camping, boating, and just being my Dad.

Too many thoughts to put into words. I just hope that I can be the parent to my children that he was to me. His love, sacrifice and devotion to the Lord was a key example to me in how I wanted to live my life. I want to serve the Lord, and share the gospel like he did. I know that families are forever and I am grateful for the knowledge that I have in knowing that I will see my Daddy again someday. That Brett will be able to meet him in person, and that Azure will get to throw her arms around his neck and call him Papa. The Atonement is real. It doesn't get easier over time. But with increasing faith and love in Christ, He eases our pain and comforts our hearts.



September 26, 2005

I will never forget the day. It was only a couple weeks into my first semester at Utah State. It was a beautiful fall day. I was walking home from a class somewhere around 3:30pm, when I felt this overwhelming feeling come over me. I can't explain it to this day, but I felt the urgency to call my dad. I tried calling him but he didn't answer. So I left him a message, I remember what I said, "I feel like I have a question I need to ask you, but I'm not sure what it is. Maybe something about the apartment, maybe something about school. I don't know but give me a call when you get this"....
It was about 3:30pm when the crash occurred. In some way I feel like I felt the presence of my dad leave this earth; and that is why I had such an overwhelming feeling of needing to talk to him.

He never got my message, and it wasn't until a few hours later that I would even hear anything about the accident. I heard about it when my best friend/roommates mom called and said she saw it on the news and was wondering if it was my Dad. I turned on the news and called my mom. They new nothing yet. No one could reach him. All we knew was that his truck was parked at Greenline Equipment and that he was supposed to be on a field trip with his students. Time past, I don't know how long but it felt like forever. I must have called his phone and Ryan McEntire's (one of his students and a family friend) phone at least 100 times. I knew that if I found Ryan, I would find my Dad. He was his shadow!

All my roommates but Wendy were gone. In this time I had called a friend to come and get me and take me home. He had shown up and then I got a knock on the door. It was my cousin Natalie and her husband Mark. They came over to check on me. Natalie was shaking and distraught, she was very close with my Dad. I tried to act calm and tell myself that at any minute he was going to call me back and all would be well. I kept calling my mom to see if she had learned any news. But nothing. Then somewhere around 9 pm (I think) my cousin Preston showed up at my door. He said to call my mom. I told him I had just gotten off the phone with her. He insisted that I called again. I called, my moms friend Kellie answered and when my mom came on the line, I knew. All I could say as she was talking was "Don't say that! Don't say that to me!"

Next, all I remember is lying on the floor in my kitchen sobbing. My friend packed my bags and we got in the car. The longest hour drive of my life! I don't think any words were spoken, I just cried, sat in silence and cried some more. Finally as we pulled up to my house, the street was lined with cars. As we pulled up to the drive way, I took a deep breathe... and ran inside. My younger brother Tavan, 13, ran to me and all I remember is hugging and sobbing from that point on. All my family was there, except my sister and her family who were making the drive from New Mexico. And my Brother and his family were making their way from Pocatello, ID. Later that night after most had gone home, the door bell rang one last time. It was my friend Ryan's dad. The friend I had tried calling earlier that day to find my dad. It wasn't until that point that I realized. Ryan was gone too.

The following days were a roller coaster of emotions, mixed with blurs, and chaos.

The night of viewing, I remember getting on my knees and pleading with the Lord to give me strength to make it through the next day. To comfort me and and my family and to help me understand His will in all of this. As I prayed, I felt the presence of someone behind me. I thought it was maybe my brother-in-law or one of the many other people sleeping in the house. I continued praying. As I closed my prayer, I still felt someone standing behind me. I turned around, and no one was there. But I know that it was my Dad who was standing there. He was there helping me pray. He was there to, one last time, check on me. I sat there for what seemed like forever but was probably only a few seconds. And then, he was gone. I felt his presence leave the room. That experience solidified my testimony of life after death. It was such a comfort to me.

Over the next few days, I really began to feel the love and support of family and friends. To learn what it meant to serve others. I am grateful to the many people in my life that offered up prayers and service to my family. And especially to those who reached out to help and comfort me. I am forever in debt to many of these marvelous people.

There have been many miracles since then where I knew that my Daddy was still watching over and guiding my family. And protecting us. Many things have changed in the dynamic of my family that otherwise might not have. But I am grateful for what I have learned and how I have grown. I would give anything to have my Dad back, but I wouldn't trade what it has taught me for the world!

I LOVE YOU DADDY!!


Obituary

Evan Parel Parker

Wednesday, September 28, 2005

HOOPER - Evan Parel Parker, 45, returned to his Heavenly Father Monday,
September 26, 2005 following an automobile accident in Tremonton.

Evan was born September 21, 1960 in Ogden, Utah, a son of H. Lisle and Luella
May Johnson Parker. Evan was a faithful member of The Church of Jesus Christ
of Latter-day Saints. He served an LDS mission to London, England. He held
various callings including: Elders Quorum President, member of the High
Council, and was currently serving in the Young Men's Presidency.

After serving his mission, he married his high school sweetheart Tammy Reid on
November 20, 1981 in the Ogden LDS Temple. They were blessed with six
beautiful children.

He was an avid farmer for all of his life. He loved teaching the skills he
acquired as a farmer to his students at Utah State University. He was awarded
the Teacher of the Year in 1995, and he will be recognized this week as
Advisor of the Year in the College of Agriculture at U.S.U.

He always cherished spending time with his family. Among some of his favorite
family activities were boating and camping. He loved people and always enjoyed
helping anyone who needed it. He enjoyed his students and was always helping
them as well. He is survived by his wife, Tammy; four sons, Skyler Evan
(Tera), Pocatello, ID; Landon Parel, Tavan Holt and Chance Carlisle all from
Hooper; two daughters, Sevana (Geoff) Hasty, Ramah, NM; Tiara, Logan; and four
grandchildren. Also surviving are his mother, three brothers, Curtis, Alan and
Dale Parker; three sisters, Beverly Bailey, Shanna Grow and Ada Foy. Evan was
preceded in death by his father and father-in-law. Funeral services will be
held Friday, September 30, 2005 at the Hooper North Chapel at 2 p.m. 5000
South 5900 West, Hooper, Utah.



Utah State Tribute video



9 comments:

Natalie said...

Oh, Tiara. I remember this! I'm so sorry and lots of thoughts to you and your family today!

Alexis said...

So sorry for your loss. I lost my dad when I was 17 and I still think about him all the time, too. So grateful we have the gospel so we know that they are up there watching over us and our babies!

Sarah said...

Oh my heart hurts for you! I can't even imagine. I'm so so so glad you have such amazing, fond memories of the time spent with your dad. Memories you will be able to hold on to forever. I know he's watching you and your family and looking out for you!

JSL, ABE&H said...

That was really beautiful tiara. I am so sorry for your loss but i am thankful you have found some measure of peace.

Unknown said...

I never knew your dad. Sounds like he was a great, great man.

Studio Location said...

Thanks for sharing even though it still makes me sob, Love to your whole family today and always.

Anonymous said...

Tiara, I'm not sure you remember me but our dad's are cousins (Carl, Roland's son). They were born just a few days apart and were close growing up. I too was up at USU when my dad called and told me about your dad. I remember your dad out at the farm and he always told my dad about you and your siblings and how proud he was of you all. I know he's always with you and still just as proud. Families are forever...

Marriott's said...

Thank you for sharing. Your words were beautiful. I hope you can continue to find peace and may the Lord always be a constant companion.

Unknown said...

I know I should have commented sooner, but honestly I felt kinda silly. I simply wrote this post to help myself get through the day last week and to vent. I figured my family would read it, but that was all. I was only documenting my feelings and what I experienced that night. Never did I think so many others would read it. Thank you for your kind uplifting words. You are all great!